18th of June 2025, Tamchy, Kyrgyzstan

Okay, I'm going back to this article more than a month later, and I'm finally ready to share it with you. Please bear in mind that some time has passed since this happened, and I'm much better now—so there's no need to worry. I believe it's important to share the downsides of solo traveling as a women as well, especially for other adventurers reading this. I aim to be as transparent as possible in these articles and share what I think is important, so here it is.

Also, this has been difficult for my parents, so you, dear family friend or relative reading this, please don't ask them about it as they're still trying to process everything**.** You're welcome to contact me if you'd like, although I want to reassure you there's nothing to worry about. I've moved pas it now. I'll leave you to it, and as always, thank you so much for all the support from everyone that night and the days that followed, and I'm so deeply sorry to everyone I've worried.

—

16th of May 2025, Almaty, Kazakhstan

I've become mistrustful, less talkative, less interested, less tolerant. I can see these changes in myself, and I don't like them. But I need to accept that something has changed, and it might take time to heal from that night—perhaps I never fully will. At least my way of traveling will be different from now on.

17th of May 2025, Tashkent, Uzbekistan

They're speaking in Kazakh at the front of the bus while pointing at me, and I hate it. I don't think it would have bothered me this much before, but now I can't stand it. Yesterday at the train station, while trying to change my ticket to join my friends in Uzbekistan earlier, a man behind the counter—not even the one helping me—asked "How old?" then "Husband?" I almost cried. Leave me alone. Why must everything revolve around this for us women? I've never heard these questions asked to any of the men I traveled with. The reminders of being a solo woman are constant.

In the train, I'm sharing a cabin with a couple and their baby. While I was settling in, the man said "Other side, other side." I immediately got defensive and snapped "No. Why?"... He was simply telling me that the bed was arranged on the opposite side. He was being helpful and I instantly got scared. These kinds of interactions keep happening and bothering me. I have this unpleasant feeling that everyone has bad intentions. I've gone from trusting everyone to trusting no one...

Crossing the border was the worst part. As I was leaving Kazakhstan to enter Uzbekistan, the border was full of military guards who wore uniforms identical to those of the forestry guards I had mistakenly trusted. I felt so unwell that I was on the verge of tears the whole time, struggling to breathe, desperately trying to get through as quickly as possible and leave the country I now couldn't help but associate with that frightening night. That's when I truly realised I had a bit of a trauma, and that it would take time to regain my trust and confidence.

18th of June 2025, Tamchy, Kyrgyzstan

Okay, you must wonder what happened for me to have these feelings. You can read my post here that summarises it all. If you don't have Instagram, here’s what I’m sharing on that post:

“I’ve felt over confident lately with my travel, I felt quite invincible. Solo hitchhiking was going very smoothly, I was meeting only amazing people and everything was just too perfect. So I decided to go with the flow and trust the people once more. But I’ve been lucky that it didn’t go worse than it did.